Product Review: Single-Use Bleeding Zombie Target

Posted: September 9, 2013 in Product Reviews, Shooting
Tags: , , , , ,

Some products require months of use and testing for a thorough review.  Others require only a single use and are, in fact, designed for just such a purpose.  You may have seen the Zombie Industries bleeding Zombie targets that are staked into the ground and can supposedly endure about a thousand rounds.  Now, that’s a target I do want to review in the future, especially as members of the Zombie Apocalypse Neutralization Team (ZANT) are required to practice like we intend to deploy.

Sometimes, you want something simpler and closer to a traditional hang-up paper target.  For $20, I purchased an interesting single-use bleeding target at the San Antonio gun show.  This weekend at Fusion Gun  Range, I had an opportunity to answer the question of just how many rounds would it take to neutralize a mega-Zombie.

For that answer, we must tell the story of Chuck.

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Chuck was a dedicated family man and working stiff, just like you and me.  He had a wife, two kids, a small house, and job that paid the bills.  Well, it paid the bills until his hours were recently cut to 29 a week because of ObamaCare.  Chuck was desperate to provide for his family and that security job at the mysterious warehouse a few miles down the road seemed like an answer to prayer.  It also seemed to good to be true, but Chuck ignored the old adage and signed on with the very strange company.

He was given strict orders never to go into the storage area at level 18, but his sense of duty took over when he heard the noise and security alarm.  He entered the room to find it full of green canisters, one of which broke a seam when a light fixture fell from the ceiling.

Chuck would never be the same.  He was exposed to a concentrated form of the Alien Zombie virus, shipped directly from Area 51.  He wandered the streets that very night, consumed with desire to feed, virtually unstoppable now that the alien DNA bonded with his system.

Derek (the owner of Fusion Tactial Range) and I were in the middle of a practice session yesterday, just after a class finished.  I happened to be testing a holster for my Ruger SRH and he was getting in some quality time with a .22 AR-15.

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An enjoyable day of practice turned brutally realistic when Chuck wandered over the berm and headed straight for Derek.  He was only looking for a good meal, but he chose the wrong diner when he decided to take on the ZANT.  Yeah, the poor guy brought his teeth to a gunfight.

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Derek opened up with the AR, and quickly emptied a mag. into Chuck, but in his advanced state of physical strength, it barely made a difference.  The master blaster quickly transitioned to his 9mm and ran through a mag and a half just to stop Chuck’s forward progress.

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At this point, I had to take action.  I quickly drew and deposited a cylinder of .44 magnum hunting ammo into Chuck from about 12 yards.  Since it was three-for-the-price-of-one day, I gave him another two cylinders for a total of 18 rounds.  Derick capped off another mag of .22 and that was it for old Chuck.

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I’d say that between the two of us, we pumped about 70 rounds into Chuck.  If you’re willing to use the chest area as a target, you could easily use up another hundred.  So, you get nearly 200 rounds of decent practice for your twenty bucks.  Split the cost among a group of Zombie-stoppers and you probably have a decent deal.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  What about Chuck’s family?  Well, they were pretty pissed at how their beloved father and husband was treated by the man, so they have all joined the ZANT.  The daughter, Alice, seems to have epic potential as a Zombie-neutralizer.

So, one day when society breaks down, the streets are filled with Zombies and marauders, 9-1-1 does not work, and all appears hopeless, just call out for the ZANT.

Don’t worry.  We’ll be there.

 Diligencia, Vis, Celeritas

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